Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I Had A Dream
As a child did you have dreams? I mean big old dreams that you disclosed only to those special grown-ups who stooped to your level and asked with gravity, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The one and only dream I ever had as a small child, and honestly the only dream I've had until recently, is this: I want to be a truck driver when I grow up.
During the ensuing years, between my first desire to climb behind the steering wheel of a large motor vehicle and just recently, I forgot my dream. Breathing, eating, going to school, sleeping, going to work, getting married, having a baby, watching television, and so on and so forth, flattened my dream up against the back of my skull. Thinned out to the point of transparency, it nearly ceased to exist.
As I look back, I do detect one quite obvious attempt of my dream to resurrect itself. It occurred back in my early thirties, shortly after my son was born. I bought Jared the book, GO TRUCKS GO, and read it to him every chance I got. At the time, I assumed he loved it, but now I realize that it was I who loved it. I wonder what he thought when I shuffled through his stack of books and chose GO TRUCKS GO over and over again when I read to him. Bless his heart for enduring.
When my dream did come true, I didn't even appreciate it. We purchased a Chevy Avalanche "truck" in 2002 so we could pull our trailer easily, not because I had once dreamed of driving one. I've had a "truck" for seven years! I unbelievably alluded the realization that my one and only dream had come true until only recently. It took over six years before remnants of my long-forgotten desire yanked themselves away from the back wall of my skull, tiptoed to the front and rapped on my forehead. In a moment of revelation, I connected the dots that were scattered like bread crumbs between my childhood wish to drive a truck and the fact that I've indeed been driving one for many, many years. In fact, at this point, I'm an experienced truck driver. My lifelong dream, subconscious for the most part, has come to fruition.
My life is fulfilled and I should be content. But wait, there's more.
After my enlightenment, I sat quietly in my chair going over those childish words: I want to be a truck driver when I grow up. Without warning, a second revelation threw me back against the headrest of my recliner. Based on my childhood dream, if I'm a truck driver, then I must also have grown up. Now, ain't that something! Since 2002, I've been a grown up; that's an unspoken dream, one I never even dared to contemplate.
Wonders never cease. Realizing that dreams do come true, I've concocted a few more. When most folks are winding down, I'm coming alive. I'm doing biathlons and triathlons. I'm creating things with words; things like stories and blogs and such. Now at sixty, I'm a seasoned grown up who's sprouting dreams like tender seedlings in a moist environment.
So sit still and think about what you dreamed of as a child. You'll very possibly realize that you're living your dreams but have been too senile to be unaware of it. Such realizations are likely to give you a second wind. If that happens, don't just sit there, throw up a sail and catch it.