Thursday, December 17, 2009

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (Simple Way #2)

The following is taken from Richard Carlson's book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff.
***************Simple Way #2. Make Peace with Imperfection
*
"I've yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace. The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what's wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on what's wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether it's related to ourselves--a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pounds we would like to lose--or someone else's "imperfections"--the way someone looks, behaves, or lives their life--the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what's wrong with life. It's about realizing that while there's always a better way to do something, this doesn't mean that you can't enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself."

12 comments:

LENORENEVERMORE said...

Great post Shaddy~
I have this book "wabi-sabi"
Japanese design book, it generally explained the beauty found in imperfect things...perfectly imperfect... in the west we simply call it RUSTIC beauty I guess.
xo*

Lia said...

Such a lovely post Shaddy.
We could all do with remembering that life it's self isn't always perfect, let alone the people and things around us.
much love
Lia
xx

Mary Anne Gruen said...

Wise words. Lost in the world of housebreaking a puppy and prepping for Christmas, the last thing we've got is perfection. LOL I've lost hope of even finding the time or energy to put up a tree. Still, it's going to be a beautiful Christmas!

darksculptures said...

Oh I just love these nuggets! Thank you!

I jotted down on a note -- Mindful is the absence of judgement. Inner peace is remembering to be mindful.

I feel an essay beginning to boil in the creative folds - must go freewrite!

Natasha said...

What good reminders these are! Thanks for sharing them.

Shaddy said...

Lenore: I remember a story that goes something like this:

A cracked pot walks the roads, leaking water from the imperfection in his side. He's ashamed of his flaw and envies his peers who are more beautiful. Eventually, he is acclaimed by the reigning king of the land because the water which leaked from the cracked pot's side as he walked the country roads has watered the flowers along the roadside. One and all are delighted with the pot's accomplishments obvious in the unusually glorious beauty of the often dreary landscape.

Lia: In many ways we are responsible for our own happiness. If we could put all the wisdom we hear or read about into use, we would be all the better for it.

Mary Anne: I love your attitude!

darksculptures: Please do! I'd love to read it.

Natasha: I'm glad you're appreciating these. They are amazingly wise.

Walk said...

I don't strive for perfection because I'm already there, a perfect mess.

Anonymous said...

I always believe we are works in progress and so we are carrying our past and future baggage with us looking for te right receptacle to empty and pickup. MsMillie

Shaddy said...

Walk: Me too!

Ms. Millie: How true!

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