Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Unfortunate Geek

I'm happy again. After work today, Lon and I went to Best Buy, directly to the Geek Squad Service Desk. I grabbed the first geek I came upon by the throat and nearly scared the living daylights out of him.

"Are you gonna fix my problem or am I gonna have to kill you?" I growled.

"Wha...wha...what's the" he croaked.

I released my grip on his neck and stepped back. He stumbled a bit and rubbed at his neck. After regaining his composure, he straightened his geeky narrow black tie on his geeky white shirt tucked into his geeky black pants complete with geeky white socks and geeky black shoes.

"A member of your squad handed me a bunch of bull yesterday. That's my problem. Twice he told me I could input photos into my laptop by shoving my memory stick into that slot right there. Do you see the slot I'm talking about?" I yanked his head by his greasy hair until his eyelashes were halfway into the slot. "Right in there. That's where the stick is stuck. Look real hard for it because I need you to get it out. And I need it out NOW."

He righted himself again, smoothed his hair and braced himself behind the counter. This time, he seemed a bit shaken but not as surprised by my actions. I felt sure that he had gotten my message and that he knew I meant business.

"Can I look in the slot again?" he asked. "It was hard to see the first time."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relax. Don't be so jumpy. Are you always like this?" I sneered.

"No, well... er not usually...," he stuttered.

"Well, what're ya gonna do to fix my problem?" I asked.

"If you'll excuse me I'll go get the tweezers. I'll only be a second. OK?" he squeaked.

"Make it snappy."

"Yes, ma'am."

He practically ran into the back room and just as quickly ran back out to stand in front of me at the counter. He was breathing hard.

"I can try to reach the stick with this. I've done it before. I'll grip it with the tweezers and pull it out. Is it OK if I touch your laptop to do it?" he stammered.

"If you so much as leave a fingerprint on that shiny surface, I'll grab you again, so be careful," I said.

His hands trembled as he reached for my laptop. His forehead was wet with perspiration and he wiped it off with his shirt sleeve.

"Come on, just take a few deep breaths and stop shaking. You can't do anything if you can't hold still," I grumbled.

"OK. I'm... I'm good now. Let me just carefully...very carefully...get that thing out of there."

I backed up to give him some space. I really needed to get back to square one with my brand new computer. I didn't want it to be shipped away for service. I was in love with it after having it for only three days.

"I've got it...well, I had I've got it comes...there she is," he gasped as the tweezers and the memory stick cleared the slot opening. He dropped both and let out a sigh. He looked up at me as if he wasn't sure how I'd react. His eyes were open wide and glimmered with hope.

I was thrilled. My laptop wouldn't have to go far away to an unfamiliar place where total strangers could possibly mishandle her. All of the sudden, I wanted to hug the geek. I wanted him to know how thankful I was for his expertise. I put my arms out and leaned toward him. He backed away and before I could do anything else, he scurried off to the back room, looking back over his shoulder at me as he went, a horrified look on his face.

"Wait, wait, I just want to thank you," I called out after him.

We waited a few seconds. The back room door opened and a young lady came out. She was shaking her head. "May I help you?" she asked.

"I just want to thank the young man who helped me with my laptop," I said. "Would you tell him that?"

"He's gone. Where to, I couldn't tell you. I've never seen him move so fast. He grabbed him jacket and like I said, he's gone."

"I was a bit rough on him. I can see that now. I really wish I could apologize to him. Will you tell him I'm sorry?" I asked.

"Oh, sure, he'll be back on Friday. I'll tell him," she said. "He's had a bad week. Yesterday, a woman grabbed him by the hair and then practically strangled him. Nobody in their right mind should get that crazy over a cotton-picking computer," she said.

"No, nobody," I said. I nodded and hung my head as we walked out the door.

[Actually, it went a lot better than that. I was polite, in control and nonconfrontational. The reason I made all of that up is because I need to practice writing dialogue and because the truth, in this situation, is extremely boring.

This is what really happened: The geek did use a tweezers and pulled the memory stick out after a few tries. I never touched him and the service transaction was completed without a hitch.

I do feel bad about that first guy even though I made it all up. It seems real. I guess that's my punishment for lying.]


Sarah said...

LOL!!!! This is wonderful, and has me giggling with my morning cappuccino. I'm glad you got it fixed Shaddy, and even more glad to know the Geek will survive another day. Ya never know when you'll need the Geek Squad!

This is a wonderful post to wake up to! Thank you!

Rob said...

Very funny read once again Shaddy! Loved it! Nice job :) Glad you have your laptop back!

Anonymous said...

Auntie Babe is here to ask you, did you remember to buy the adapter you need, or were you so pleased to get your laptop back that you forgot. Oh Well there's always another day Shaddy.

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