Saturday, July 18, 2009

Life Without C.S.

I ran into a wall in our home Wednesday night. I had been reading when I grew weary and put my book down. I was simply on my way to bed, rubbing both of my eyes with both of my hands, when I blindly hit the corner where our kitchen and the hall walls meet. A person with common sense doesn't walk with both eyes closed and both hands unavailable for feeling the way. (I took a photo of my black eye and the wall that I hit. I opted to present the wall photo; it came away from the collision looking much better than I did).

God experimented when he created me. He said to himself, "I will create this person with no common sense. I'm curious to see if a person can function without it." He chose me to be the guinea pig with hopes that it would be good.

It hasn't been good. My right eye presently bears witness to the fact that a person can NOT function properly without common sense.

God did give me a sense of humor and that WAS good. I have learned to laugh at myself. Below I've listed just a few early examples in my life of actions brought about due to a lack of common sense.

1. In my early preteen years, I sang a line of a popular song enthusiastically and with great abandon: Up the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico. Strange looks from my older brother, prompted me to listen to the words I was singing and to realize my up should have been down.
2. When I received my first telephone call, I held the telephone receiver about three inches from my ear and obviously couldn't hear the caller's voice. I refused to talk on the phone for years, not aware that all I had to do was move the receiver close to my ear. Duh!
3. At the supper table, I turned to my brother and said, "I'm not going to tell you that you're getting stamps for your birthday." I fled to my room in tears when I realized what I'd said.
4. I pulled my arms inside my shirt and started spinning around in circles. I lost my balance,fell and knocked myself out when my head hit the ground. Hey, that explains a lot of things.

At the moment, I can't recall any more examples, at least none that I care to reveal. Fortunately, with my glasses on, my black eye wasn't evident at work on Thursday or Friday. Today, Saturday, it's definitely noticeable. If I'm lucky, by Monday it will have back to normal.

Honestly, I think my black eye is funny. I showed it off to my co-workers and boss on Thursday along with the story of how I got it. Hopefully this incident will serve as a reminder that I'm living without a full deck and I better be careful so I don't do any really serious damage to those around me or myself.

Medication abounds for restless leg syndrome, for when ya gotta go, for hair loss, for sleeplessness, for allergies, shingles, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, arthritis, asthma, and countless other difficulties. The television ads encourage us to ask our doctors if any of these medications are right for us: Abilify, Bextra, Caduet, Detrol LA, Effexor. That's just the tip of the iceberg. But have you ever heard of a medication that offers common sense in pill form? I don't think so!

God's testing me from birth right up until the end. He's serious about his experiment. Hopefully, there'll be something left of me to dispose of after I take my last breath.

Oh well, all he wants is my soul and fortunately it's indestructible.


Gullible said...

I want to see the black eye picture!!! I want it! I want it right now! (Sound familiar?)

Sarah said...

Lol Gully!

Shaddy this post is making me laugh outloud. I love it. I am so sorry you ran in to the wall, but you sure make it funny. Still, OUCH!

Thanks for making my morning with this one. I'm awake now!

Shaddy said...

Gully: Sorry, no black eye pictures will be presented here. "Shaddy's so vain, yes, she's so vain, I bet she thinks this blog is about her."

I want it, I want it right now, are my words. I stomp my feet and shout them several times a day.

Sarie: I decided to go with "when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade." I'm glad you enjoyed your icy drink. I like making you laugh so we both win with this post.

Gullible said...

Lemonade is so-o-o-o old hat.
Lemon meringue pie is where it's at!

Mary Anne Gruen said...

I don't run into too many walls, but my hips are always hitting furniture. Probably because I think I'm thinner than I am. LOL

I always love the anecdotes about your youth.