Thursday, July 22, 2010

I Write To Turn Inside Out

I have nothing to go on this evening, but the desire to create a page of words and to perhaps select a photo or two to accompany it.

My fingers are ready, part of me is willing and time will tell what else joins in to achieve a post that won't be totally useless. But then, when I'm putting down words, I'm expressing myself. Whenever a person expresses himself, he's acknowledging his existence and his need to share himself regardless of whether anyone else is interested or not.

It's when I'm feeling empty inside that I become vaguely alarmed by the whiteness of an empty piece of paper. During recent years, that seldom occurs. The practice of writing has opened up places within me and given me freedom to search those cave-like hiding places in my mind. Upon examining these places, I've worked through the clutter inside and organized it in an order I can cope with.

Do you ever start writing with a goal of finding out what's in or on your mind? I can go on and on and on like this, writing as I go, planning nothing but producing something. When I'm not judgmental, critical or fearful, I have much to offer.

I remember not too many years ago, having paper and a pen and freezing up. I was afraid to write. I didn't know how to free up my mind. I hadn't practiced writing so I felt clumsy and inept and I was clumsy and inept. After taking a creative writing workshop, I overcame my fear. I wrote and wrote and wrote and became a practiced writer.

When I first gave myself permission to write, I was quickly elated. I liked what I wrote. I marveled at what I wrote. I shared what I wrote. I gained confidence in myself because of what I wrote. I allowed myself to write poorly but instead I wrote well . I wrote with a love of words and a determination that lifted me up and filled me to overflowing.
Different hobbies work for different people. I can't say enough regarding how much I've benefited from writing regularly. Many of you are writers. What other things get you excited and make you happy to be alive?
(I took the photo of the sun going down behind our little storage shed in the corner of our backyard last night. I hope to capture more glimpses of the sun as it sets on our days here in Southern Wisconsin. I promise to share them here).


Anonymous said...

Freewriting is the most rewarding experience. I allow myself to write with no motive, goal or even a hint of direction quite often. I wouldn't call it therapy or anything dramtic like that. But it is simply something I enjoy doing.

Shaddy said...

DARKSCULPTURES: It's rewarding, therapeutic and enjoyable for me. I believe it takes me where I need to go at any given moment.

Vanessa said...

I find that it takes me a little time to get into the groove, but once I get there I'm able to take off! I always start with a picture though. I'm forever looking through a lens for inspiration!

I love the picture!

Jana said...

Shaddy - I always wrote with great concern about how it would be received--never wanting to feel foolish. When given permission to write poorly, I did so with enthusiasm. It was an awakening. It made me realize how much of my life, not just in writing but in all things, was spent trying to please everyone else. I've started living more of my life without this concern. What freedom! (I still give myself permission to write poorly and still enjoy doing so.) If it speaks to my reader, great, and if not, it still meant something to me.
My time walking allows me space to think my own thoughts, and my writing helps make those thoughts real, more concrete.

I enjoyed your post, and the great picture! - and thanks for letting me rant on a bit!

Shaddy said...

VANESSA: You are a talented photographer. Why not draw from the strength you have in that hobby to feed your writing passion. What you're doing makes total sense to me.

JANA: I loved your comment. You expressed my thoughts and feelings exactly. Writing has given me the self confidence I never had before, the ability to follow my own heart rather than trying to fit into the shape others crafted for me.

Yes, every word in your comment parallels my experiences since I began writing in 2006.

Thanks for sharing, Jana.

Natasha said...

I've always been a writer, but it's only in the past several years that I've been able to devote time to writing from the heart and to begin to let myself write without editing.

I'm constantly amazed at some of the stuff that comes up and out when I do.

And I have to say that my community of writing buddies is a VERY IMPORTANT part of the pleasure I get from writing -- and from reading my buddies' writing.

Thanks, y'all! (Now let's all join hands and sing....)

Shaddy said...

NATASHA: I agree that having buddies who take the time to hop from blog to blog and share their input is invaluable.

Anonymous said...

I think I write more to get the stuff out of my head and less to search inside my head. Does this make sense.
If my brain is on 'full' I write to get it out.
Although, I have learned more about myself through writing and I find it very therapeutic.
I too used to freeze with fear at the thought of writing, even though I wanted to. That permission is very freeing.

Shaddy said...

DAYNER: Writing to get stuff out of your head makes a lot of sense. Writing it down makes sense out of all the stuff.

Parrot Writes said...

Once I took Ann's BWW class and learned about freewriting, I found many topics that I can fill pages about. I didn't know "all that stuff" was in there, but it is rewarding and somewhat amazing to read once it's been put on paper.
I very much enjoy reading all that you post! The pictures make it all that more wonderful.

Shaddy said...

PARROT: I find it amazing to read stuff I've written too. Sometimes I don't have any recollection of having written things I come across on old blog posts or in notebooks, etc.--that really rattles my cage! I am getting used to that though.

It seems nearly everyone who blogs in my little world has taken Ann's BWW. Those six weeks changed me in many ways forever.

I appreciate you, your blog and our comraderie.

Anonymous said...

We're so lucky you overcame your fear!!! You're a magnificent writer my dear. You know I have always been and always will be a fan. I wish I had the patience with myself to try to write more. I think being able to write more would help me as much as it has helped you. Not that I could ever be as good at it as you are, but I think it would help. I hope that makes sense.

I love the picture too. That lush green grass, ugh! Pretty...