I think a
retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!
Read all the
way to the end.................
This took a lot of work to put
together!
1) The bandage was wound around
the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce
produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
more refuse.
4) We must polish the
Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he
would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to
desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since
there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass
was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When
shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not
object to the object.
11) The insurance was
invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a
row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13)
They were too close to the door to close
it.
14) The buck does funny things when the
does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer
fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with
planting, the farmer taught his sow to
sow.
17) The wind was too strong to
wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in
the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject
the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I
intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is
no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take
English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
is it a pig..
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If
a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think
all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship
by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in
a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is
why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'
?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but
when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a
meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do
we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election
and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten
UP a room, polish UP t he silver;
we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the
kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old
car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir
UP trouble, line UP
for tickets, work UP an appetite,
and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be
dressed UP is special.A drain must be
opened UP because it is stopped UP.We open
UP a store in the morning bu t we close it UP at
night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about
UP!To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
look the word UP in the
dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th
of the page and can add UP
to about thirty definitions.
If you
are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of
the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of
your time, but if you don't give UP,
you may wind UP with a
hundred or more
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is
clearingUP.When it
rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.When it
doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
UP,for now my time is UP
[Thank you, Marilyn, for forwarding this to me].
1 comment:
Your young at heart:) Cant wait to see sassy green.
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